


Conversations

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-05
Updated: 2005-07-09
Packaged: 2018-12-27 09:37:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12078435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: This is the start of a series I'd like to dedicate to Fansee and The Slash Faerie for helping me out with my posting problems, and to Alantie my fanfic goddess





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

He opens the door to me and gestures that I should come inside....he’s not surprised – I called him earlier and came right out with it… ‘Brian, we need to talk….’, and he agreed. 

So here I am entering the…..fuck pad he shares with my son, desperately hopeful of getting some answers.  
‘Coffee?’ he asks while ushering me to the sofa.

‘Black – strong’ I reply. It needs to be strong to help me through the conversation I want to have with my son’s….lover. There’s an awkward silence as I wait for him to make my coffee, and there’s something digging into my back which makes me all the more uncomfortable. I sit up and remove…a box of condoms. 

‘I’ve been looking for those’, Brian tells me as he hands me my coffee, complete with that arrogant smirk of his I so despise. 

‘We always practise safe sex, Jennifer’, he tells me seriously. 

‘What a relief to know you’re looking out for him’, I reply somewhat sarcastically…he just smirks again and lights himself a cigarette. I hate smoking – always have, and I’m sure he knows it….but this is his house not mine, so I say nothing and sip my coffee. 

‘Taste alright?’ he asks…it’s better than alright, but I’m not telling him that. 

‘It’s fine Brian, but I didn’t come here to talk about coffee….’, he nods and asks me why, even though we both know the answer to that…Justin. 

‘I’m just going to jump straight in here Brian, and I’m sorry if I sound rude, but I have to know….what the hell are you doing with my son?’, he flinches at that, but I have to continue. ‘Brian, you’re a handsome man – you could have your pick of any man- or woman- you wanted, yet you choose a boy twelve years your junior…one who was still in school when you started having relations with him!’ I’m almost shouting now, but I don’t care. ‘Brian, please tell me what you’re doing with him…besides the obvious. I know all about you and your reputation of loving and leaving, yet you’ve kept my son around…why?’. 

I think it’s a simple question, but Brian looks lost….he shakes his head slowly and shrugs his shoulders in response. I suppose that’s all I’m going to get. I sigh loudly and take a huge gulp of coffee as I think about my next move. 

Remembering the photo I always keep with me in my wallet, I suddenly remove it and flash it in front of Brian. It’s of Justin when he was about three years old…all white blonde hair and fragile cuteness…he was the most beautiful baby…my miracle baby. Justin doesn’t know...will never know that he almost died as I was giving birth to him…he was three months premature, and already vulnerable when I was told the umbilical cord had wrapped around his throat. I was sure I’d lost him, but when the nurse handed me my beautiful baby boy, I was so overjoyed, so happy…..and I vowed to protect him always.

Brian’s looking at the photo with this half-smile on his face that I can’t quite work out...I decide to make my move. 

‘Adorable, wasn’t he?’ I say. He nods in agreement and adds, ‘Still is’. I smile at that…even more so when he starts blushing at his admission. 

‘Exactly Brian….he’s still as adorable and precious to me as he was when that photo was taken…he’s my son, Brian, and I want to protect him from any more pain and heartache…I need you to promise me that you’ll look after him, protect him….let him down gently when the time comes….and it will, Brian’. God I hope it will. 

‘You don’t know that,’ he says softly as I take the photo back from him and stand up to leave, 

‘I think I do, Brian,’ I tell him sadly, walking towards the door,‘I’ll see myself out….’. 

Of course Justin chooses that exact moment to come barrelling into the loft….he doesn’t see me- his eyes focus only on Brian, and I realise in that moment that maybe part of my resentment of Brian is that he’s replaced me in Justin’s eyes..metaphorically . Brian is his life now…Brian is the one he loves, admires, adores…there’s just no room for me anymore. I watch as Justin jumps into Brian’s arms and kisses him soundly, and the way Brian’s arms wrap around him protectively….his smile as Justin pulls away from him and laughs… a real genuine smile I’ve never seen on his face before…and my son put it there. I walk silently out of the loft, hoping and praying that this ….relationship will be over soon, and that that wasn’t love I saw shining in Brian’s eyes as he looked down at Justin, because if he loves him, he’ll never let go, and I will have lost my son forever.


	2. Conversations

Gus loves Jus.

Daddy loves Jus, too. Right now they’re making kissy faces, so I’m sitting and drawing pictures with my crayolas like a good boy….Gus is a very good boy.

I’m drawing a picture of daddy Jus….he’s pretty like my mommy, and he has yellow hair and blue eyes. In my picture he is standing and holding a paintbrush…Jus is a famous artist, and I’m going to be one too when I get bigger…or I might be a dinosaur…

Daddy comes over to look at my drawing…he and Jus have stopped doing kissy faces because Jus is having a shower.

‘It’s Justin, daddy!’ I tell him, because sometimes his eyesight is bad and he can’t tell what my pictures are.

‘I can see that, Gus. It’s very good…but where are his eyes?’ He thinks I’ve forgotten them…

‘I have a problem, daddy,’ I tell him.

‘What?’ He asks me

‘Well, daddy Jus has blue eyes doesn’t he? But I only have one blue crayola, and it’s not the same blue as Justin’s eyes!’

Daddy smiles that smile of his….the happy one he usually gets when he’s looking at Jus.

‘Cornflower Blue,’ He says quietly, ‘Justin’s eyes are cornflower blue….’

Gus is confused. ‘What’s a cornflower?’ I ask him

‘It’s just a flower, Gus, but it’s a very pretty blue flower…’ He tells me

‘Pretty like Justin and mommy?

He laughs, ‘Yes Gus…pretty like Justin and your mommy’.

‘Listen Gus,’ He tells me as he puts me on his lap. Gus likes daddy’s lap… ‘Gus, you only have one blue crayola, and you’ll never find another crayola that’s the exact same blue as Justin’s eyes, so why don’t you just use the one you’ve got? Justin won’t mind…he’ll still love your drawing…’

‘Really?’ I ask him

‘Really’ He answers me, and I know he’s telling me the truth.

‘Okay!’ I say as I scramble off his lap and hurry to complete my drawing before Jus finishes his shower. I color his blue eyes in, and ad a cornflower in his other hand, then I draw a big love-heart at the top and sign my name..GUS

 

When Jus is out of the shower I run over to him to show him my picture.

‘It’s fantastic, Gus! I love it!’ He tells me, and smiles his big, happy smile that is the biggest, happiest smile I’ve ever seen…it makes me happy, too.

He picks me up and spins me around before taking another look at my picture.

‘Umm, Gus?’ He asks me, ‘What exactly is that blue thing I’m holding? Is it another paintbrush?’ Silly Jus! He needs glasses, I think.

‘It’s a cornflower,’ I tell him..it’s so obvious! He still looks confused…

‘Daddy says that cornflower blue is the color of your eyes, so I thought you should be holding a cornflower…’

Jus smiles his happy face when I tell him that, and daddy’s face turns red…the same color red my face went when I peed my pants in class last week.

Daddy and Jus start with the kissy faces again, but this time I don’t think they’re going to stop. Grown-ups are funny sometimes….I’m never going to grow up, not even if I get to be a dinosaur….


	3. Conversations

CYNTHIA POV

I know I shouldn’t really be going to my boss’s home after hours, but he really needs these files and if he wasn’t so distracted by thoughts of fucking Justin he would’ve remembered them. Besides, I’ve been to the loft before, and Brian and I are friends.

As I step into the ancient lift and wait for it to slowly and shakily bring me to Brian’s level, images of my gorgeous boss flash through my mind….christ that man is beautiful – why are the best guys always gay? Gaygaygaygaygay….that’s become my mantra since I started working for Brian, and I have to say it daily to stop myself from throwing myself at him, but….a girl can dream right?

I get out of the lift, but as I approach the loft door I see it’s sort of open already. Now, I know better than to barge on, I mean, Brian’s probably got Justin on all fours and…..my face flushes, like it always does when I think about Brian and Justin together, so I take a deep breath to calm myself and raise my hand to knock…then stop.

Through the gap in the door I can see Brian and Justin in a passionate embrace on the sofa….they’re not naked, but Brian’s hands are pulling at Justin’s T-Shirt so I can see a tantalizing glimpse of skin. It’s funny…when I first met Justin I was quite surprised, I mean, he was so young! I guess I’d always pictured Brian with someone tall, dark and handsome…much like himself, so when this short, blonde slip of a boy came to my desk one morning asking me to ‘Tell Brian that Justin is here with a surprise for him’ I was kind of shocked…until he smiled at me…then I knew.

I continue to watch them, knowing I shouldn’t be, but there’s something about Brian and Justin that draws me – and everyone else – to them. They’re just so goddamn beautiful together…I dare even the most homophobic person to watch them when they’re together and deny their beauty. I think it’s their amazing chemistry…the sexual energy between the two of them is so palpable, so sizzling you just can’t ignore it…and I’m getting a demonstration right now.

From where I’m standing I have a great view of Brian’s tongue as he frenches the absolute shit out of Justin….I had no idea a tongue could be so long! I swear it’s the most intense, orgasmic kiss I’ve ever seen, and I long for someone to kiss me like that….no one’s ever kissed me like that. They’re starting to moan loudly, and as soon as I see Justin’s hand head for Brian’s dick, I know I have to stop being a voyeur and start being a professional.

I knock loudly on the door, startling them from their erotic fog. Justin whispers something into Brian’s ear, pulls his T-Shirt back on, and heads to the door.  
As he pulls it wide open for me, I’m struck for, like, the hundredth time by his beauty…he really is the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen….his baby blues are sparkling and his creamy skin is flushed a deep pink…his lips are all red and pouty and look like…um, someone’s been frenching the shit out of them? I pretend not to notice the giant hickey that’s forming on his neck…gee, I wonder how that got there? Then he smiles that incandescent smile at me, and I find myself wondering why Brian ever put up a fight….I mean, he had to have fallen in love as soon as Justin flashed those pearly whites at him….why try and resist?  
Justin’s voice brings me back to the present.

‘Hey Cynthia! Do you want to come in ?’

‘Hi Justin…no, I won’t stay…can you give these files to Brian? He was in a rush to leave tonight and forgot them….’

Just as I’m about to hand them over to Justin, Brian suddenly comes up and snatches them from me,

‘Fuck! I can’t believe I forgot these! Thanks Cynthia…’

He smiles one of his rare, genuine smiles at me as he wraps his arms around Justin from behind…such a protective, affectionate gesture…Justin likes it, too because he tilts his head back and gives Brian a peck on the lips. God, these two…..

‘Do you wanna join us for dinner, Cynthia? Justin and I were gonna order some Thai…’

‘No thanks, I’ve had my dinner already….besides, I’m sure you two would rather be alone’, I glance pointedly at Justin’s hickey, and Brian huffs a small laugh as Justin tries to cover it.

‘Okay…see you tomorrow then’.

‘See you tomorrow, Brian…see you, Justin’,

I wave goodbye and head back towards the lift, but I steal a quick peek at them before I go…..Brian’s arms are still wrapped around Justin, and Justin is gazing up at him all adoringly as Brian looks down at him with this sweet little grin on his face. They look so happy and in love and I think to myself for the millionth time that they really are the most beautiful couple I’ve ever seen.

As I head back down in the lift I find myself wondering if I’ll ever find my own Brian or Justin….and think of the erotic dreams I’ll be having tonight…


End file.
